Article for February the 15th

"Belgium Doesn't Exist!"

or "Land of Sprouts and Chocolate, I Think Not."

(or "België bestaat helemaal niet / La Belgique n'existe pas" for our imaginary friends)

For too long we have been told lies.

Postal Propaganda: Belgian "Super-man" squints hard to see his non-existent country. No such luck, Baudy.

The existence of the supposed European country of Belgium has been taken as gospel for years by members of the Liberati. It has long been held up as a shining example of Liberal philosophies in action. However, now is the time the truth be known. Belgium doesn't exist.

Belgium is, and has always been, a leftist ruse; a device applied to propagate the Liberal agenda throughout the world. Hijacking a real country for this use would be difficult at best; the people living there wouldn't stand for it (i.e. the fall of communism.) Thus the idea to invent an imaginary country, insert it into the global consciousness through the perversion of history, and use it as a tool of manipulation was born.

A typical Belgian building... or so we're told.

Using the assumed voice of a nation, the Elite Left seeks to insinuate itself into world discussions, quietly changing the topic of conversations with a casual remark here, a whisper there. Need proof? The fictitious country was a founding member of the European Community (which is, as you should be aware, step one in the march to the One World Government,) most of who's governing institutions are supposedly based in Brussels. As are the headquarters of the Customs Cooperations Council (an Orwellian name if I ever heard one,) and other international bodies, unimportant and seemingly harmless now, that will have unaccountable jurisdiction to pass regulations and levy tariffs (read "taxation without representation") over any future global citizens.

The Elite Left have been hard at work dissimulating our reality. Through the deft use of relativism and red herrings like political correctness, they have been able to slip Belgium into history and geography without anyone noticing. The cleverness of this is almost laudable. Belgium history was designed with just enough territorial skirmishes, political struggles, and colonialism to make it blend in with the rest of Europe. That, combined with the co-opting of French and German historical figures and events creates an alternate history that meshes with the real one. Where does the contrivances stop and reality begin? What's more, under the auspices of the Liberal controlled Department of Education, our children are being forced to believe in these lies. History has been revised so many times that it's no wonder public schools want more money; they keep having to buy new history books!

Brussels sprouts: was your mother part of the conspiracy?

Not only would the Left have us believe in the existence of Belgium, they would have us think their illusory nation is a Shangri-La. Typical of the Liberal Media, we have been inundated with pro-Belgium propaganda: Belgians' alleged superiority in the art of chocolate making; the reputed nutritional value of "Brussels sprouts"; how all quality diamonds can only be acquired through dealers in the mythical city of Antwerp; How french fries are actually a Belgian invention; and the "superior" martial artistry of Jean Claude Van Damme, the "Muscles from Brussels". Furthermore, Mystery! on PBS (need I say more?) regularly depicts Belgians -- such as Agatha Christie's "Hercule Poirot" -- as personable sleuths who always outsmart non-Belgians and uncover pro-Belgium versions of "The Truth."

The saxophone, a supposedly Belgian instrument played by "cool" Liberals.

When will the Liberals learn that you cannot keep the real truth from us?

I can hear the Left now: "But how could the existence of an entire country, albeit a small one, be a hoax?" Radical art types will, of course, ramble on and on about Rubens, Van Dyck, and other assumed Belgian artists that they learned about in their "Liberal Education" (read Liberal Indoctrination.) Public school teachers would point out that if it weren't for Belgium, there would be a blank spot between France and Netherlands on our maps, forgetting that the data for our maps came from the CIA-controlled spy-satellites. Some aging hippies may even claim to have bought drugs there, but of what value are the delusions of a stoned counter-culturalist. They will all vehemently disagree with you if you DARE doubt the existence of Belgium. They actually believe in it.

The answer to how the sham of Belgium's existence could be pulled off is simple: we weren't vigilant enough. We let them gain the power over us needed to distort reality to fit their fiendish plans. But it's not too late. The truth can still be made known.

This monograph was originally published on a Cascadian BBS in 1995 and marked Lyle Zapato's first public writing. Additional facts and corrections have been added since, including the following sections...